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| "When I Was Invisible" |
... again!"
Do you remember that phrase from a post I did previously? Well, it seems I’ve been in rewind this week when it comes to dealing with hurt feelings.
For the past two months I’ve been going to physical
therapy with hubby. In the course of
time we’ve interacted with the staff exchanging small gifts, ideas, recipes,
believing in prayer and basically enjoyed one another’s company.
After all this you would have thought the building
relationships were going somewhere. Last
week I realized that they still didn’t know my name, but I didn’t say anything.
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Don't miss
out on this week's challenge (below).
Visit the Q & A and other sections."Ann Right?"
On Monday the opportunity arose for me to come right out
and say, “You don’t know my name do you?” I asked both of the staff members the same
question, with a friend of theirs standing by waiting for their response.
You should have seen the one lady’s face; it was like a
deer in the headlights totally caught off guard. The other patients had already gone and my
husband was on a treadmill listening to the entire conversation to see where it
would go. He was surprised by what he
was hearing.
A friend of theirs was standing outside the conference
room. One of the nurses told her to stay
in the other room while she finished preparing her Christmas gift. She was privy to this entire conversation.
Immediately they started playing the name guessing
game. When that happened I chimed in, “I’ve been here twenty times. How is it that
you don’t know my name? I must not have
made an impact on your life for you not to know it?”
Of course they denied my accusations, but fifteen minutes
later they were now finding this to be humorous.
“Take
off your sunglasses?” said one girl.
“You’ve never seen me without them
so that won’t make a difference.” I told her. (They’re prescription.) The
questioning continued.
“How
many syllables is it?
“One.”
By the time we left they were calling me Ann.
My husband said, “They
are familiar with ‘how’ you are, but not ‘who’ you are.” What he meant was that they were used to my
actions when I’m there, but they don’t ask questions to get to know me. To them I’m just a client’s wife.
Learn their Name
When the coordinator realized that this wasn’t a good
situation, she did try to soften the blow with some kind words. What bothers me the most has nothing to do
with being noticed by others or even being liked. I
wasn’t looking for fame or recognition from them, but want my life to reflect
Christ in a genuine way.
To be honest, my emotions did kick in and I started to
tear up on the way home. Why this
affected me I don’t know. It’s not like
I didn’t already know this information. I suppose it was the confirmation of it
that got to me.
For the rest of the day
I was quiet thinking about my “invisibility” these past months with people I
have spent time with three times a week.
One of the first things I have always done with my
students that carried over into all areas of life was to learn their names the
first week of school. Usually it only
took a day or so, but it was something I knew would help me make a connection
to them right from the start. You’d be surprised as to how many teachers never
learn their student’s names.
It’s important if we want to make a difference in
someone’s life that we learn their name and actually use it when talking to
them. A name is what lets the individual
know that your conversation and actions are directed to them.
Another thing that shows you have compassion
and understanding is to use the name the person wishes to be called.
Superficial or Genuine?
When we got home my husband took advantage of the Hug Challenge from last week, only this time it was all about compassion and not
just doing the task. I can verify that
it helped.
It’s easy to blow people off and not get involved when
we’re busy, but that doesn’t mean it’s right.
This is also a time of year where many are more sensitive and need to
connect with someone.
You don’t have to become lifelong friends with those you
meet casually, but you can show yourself friendly and genuinely care.
Confronting me one of the ladies asked how I knew she
didn’t know my name. I confessed that my
counseling skills were of help, but actually it didn’t take much to figure it
out when she stuttered and said, “Why you’re Mrs.…”
My point in all this is that a genuine heart isn’t
superficial and doesn’t say things to appease an audience of any size. In reality, I don’t believe the staff meant
to hurt my feelings and I don’t even think they realized they didn’t know my
name. It was just one of those “aha”
moments (or should I say uh-oh moments) when it all came together.
Sure my feathers got a bit ruffled, but my concern took
me back to the story I shared about “The Pudding Lady.” Do you remember that? Certainly I was friendly, but was I coming
across as some pathetic person who seemed needy? Did I think I was merely being humble when
remaining quiet?
What was I really doing all these weeks in their presence that was so uneventful that it wasn't worth learning my name?
Telling Tales ... on myself
Let’s face it, we all want to fit in and feel we are
valued. My focus when going to the
cardio rehab with my husband has been his needs, any interaction with the staff
comes after that. There isn’t anything
wrong with that thinking or behavior; however something more was happening inside that was brought to my attention.
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| Their goes the secret. |
God put this right back in my lap helping me to recognize
that it was my feelings of insecurity, unworthiness and feeling invisible that
led the relationship into what it was.
I
always make a big deal out of the other person and their gifts, but devalue my
own. That isn’t what God said about me
or what He wants me to demonstrate in my behavior.
It may seem like I’m tattling on those ladies, but I’m
actually spilling the beans on myself.
Why would anyone remember my name if I never placed any worth on it? How
was I regarding God’s feelings toward me?
Scripture says He knows my name.
He identified me as someone He wants in His life. So who demonstrated a genuine heart here? I'm usually a bubbly personality, but I have been reserved there.
Actually, I’m glad this happened. My thinking was refreshed as to how I want to
be treated and how not to take relationships lightly no matter how brief they
may be.
In the end, all that really matters is that God knows my
name. The Lord lets me know *who I am to Him and He adorns me
with His favor. He knows if my actions
toward others are genuine or superficial.
Names are important to God. Our names are inscribed on
the palms of His hands. If names mean
something to the Lord, they should mean something to us.
“See, I have inscribed you on the palms on My
hands;
Your walls are continually before Me.” (Isaiah49:16 NKJV)
We are moving into a season that is usually very busy
where people will come and go in and out of our lives. There is a reason God is placing these
individuals before us, so we need to take the time to know them. Let them know your love for Christ is genuine
by demonstrating it. Learn their names;
it identifies and sets them apart from someone else.
He Knows My Name
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| God knows my name. He knows yours too! |
We’ve come eleven months in this journey together and
I’ve learned so much about myself in my relationship with the Lord. My life has struggles just like the next guy,
but the favor He has shown me isn’t ordinary.
It’s genuinely extraordinary.
God calls me chosen … forgiven … beloved … cherished …
treasured … His forever and He does it by name.
Whoever you are I can tell you this, God knows your name and He
genuinely cares for you and everything about you matters to Him.
This
Week’s Challenge:
Sharing A Genuine Heart
Sometimes it’s not easy to get to know someone,
especially if it’s just for a brief time.
We’re going to try anyway, because it makes a difference to the Lord.
As we begin this week we’re going to do three things.
1 – Begin calling people by their name and genuinely show
that you care for them. If you are on
the phone with someone you don’t know, write down their name in the beginning
of the conversation. When you hang up
thank them for their services by calling them by their name. It will make them feel valued.
2 – Grasp the concept that God wants you in His life. He
knows your name because He loves and cares for you. He specifically wrote your name down because
His heart is genuine toward you. People
will take notice of you if you take notice of what God sees in you.
“But now, thus says the LORD, who created you,
O Jacob.
And He who formed you, O Israel:
“Fear not, for I have redeemed you;
I have called you by your name;
You are Mine.’ (Isaiah 43:1 NKJV)
Now put your name in
where the blank is:
“But now, this the LORD says, who created me, ______.
And He who formed me, _______:
“Fear not, for He has redeemed me ______;
He has called me _______ by my name;
I ______ am His.’ (Isaiah 43:1 NKJV)
3 – Sing “He Knows My Name” aloud so that you hear what
God has said about His feelings toward you.
Believe what the Bible says. You are genuinely in God’s heart.
God’s aware of your pain and sees your tears, but you’re
going to be fine. How do I know?
... because He knows your name!
Until next time, a
genuine heart finds favor with God.
“I know you by name.
See, it’s right on my hand.”
– Jesus Christ
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Scripture
reference was taken from the New King James Bible Version provide by Bible GatewayImage credit: Google Images or Dreamstime Creative Common License if not specified.
Image: Rewind Deer Learn Names Hug Challenge Spill the Beans He Knows My Name
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